Saturday, June 07, 2008


Deer in the Headlights

Obama lost the working-class vote, the women's vote, the downscale vote, the senior vote, the Catholic vote, the Hispanic vote, lost the big primaries, the swing states and got 200,000 fewer votes than Hillary, so Democrats are convinced he's their strongest candidate. He's completely united half the party!

Four years after Jimmy Carter got creamed, Democrats thought their best shot against the Gipper was to run Jimmy Carter's veep. Democrats thought beating Nixon in '72 would be a cakewalk if they ran George McGovern, so they did.

After getting clobbered on the crime issue election after election, Democrats finally picked a sure-fire winning ticket: Michael Dukakis and Willie Horton.

After 8 tawdry years of Clinton scandals, the Democrats' idea of bringing needed "change" to Washington was to run Al Gore.

With the nation at war against Muslim fanatics, Democrats -- sick and tired of losing on national security -- thought they had the perfect solution: Antiwar John Kerry and sissy John Edwards! The steamroller Gigolo/Sissy ticket steamrolled to defeat.

Apparently, to send voters a clear strong signal that they're serious this time, the party bigshots selected the least qualified candidate for Commander-in-Chief in U.S. history.

Democrats set up the 'superdelegate system' (in keeping with their idea of "democracy") to keep voters from saddling the party with George McGovern losers, so now they're stuck running a Muslim-turned-halo-sporting-God-Damn-America-"Christian" left-winger whose middle name is Hussein even while primary voters preferred Hillary.

(This should assuage worries that Democrats aren't ready to run the country.)

The DNC and the media are convinced Obama is qualified for president, pointing to his empty oratorical skills. Yet, while zipping back and forth across the 57 states recently, Obama has scrupulously been reminding voters why he isn't presidential material.

But solely on the basis that he can read syrupy speeches from a teleprompter after several rehearsals, Democrat honchos insist he's qualified to be leader of the free world.

Back during the 2000 campaign, liberals pretended to worry about the 'gravitas' Bush supposedly lacked, and droned on and on that he didn't have enough 'heft', so now their brilliant corrective is running thoroughly weightless Obama, who can't even command the news cycle despite his chums being in charge, much less be leader of the free world.

Even after "clinching" the 'nomination,' poor little Obama was still struggling even to stay relevant against all the news about the dominatrix who beat him up so badly, he had to be wheeled on a gurney across the finish line by a frantic crew of superdelegates.

The Obamatrons spent the whole week complaining hysterically that Hillary had spent the whole week not congratulating Obama for barely 'winning' the nomination.

This, even after his leaving dozens of phone messages for her (just to show he's 'in charge')! By now, even some of his Kool-Aid drinkers sense he's a wimp, and expressed relief that Hillary was at least open to letting Obama pick his running mate. And that the running mate doesn't have to be her.

Then, Thursday night, she beckons and he answers the call! Obama "met privately with Hillary Rodham Clinton, a likely vice presidential candidate," is how the AP put it. Little Obama's campaign hacks had to frantically deny this was Hillary auditioning Obama at her place, but rather that the meeting occurred without preconditions in some "undisclosed location," which means she probably first summoned him to her place.

Picking Hillary as his running mate makes Obama look weak because he's weak. Not picking Hillary makes him look weak, too, because he's weak. When you're running as a blank resume wrapped in an empty suit inside a dinky bubble, that's what happens.

Oddly, Obama's 'Change Without Experience' chant isn't lighting a fire under him in the polls either. The housing "crisis", $4/gallon gas, the Iraq war/Bush Lied, Kids Died, 172% saying the country's on the wrong track and the best Obama can do is run even with fascist warmonger John McBusHitler, who's barely campaigning.

And during those rare ventures into policy, the ace ignoramus blunders into Iran being an itsy-bitsy "tiny" threat on one day, to Iran being a serious threat the next; Jerusalem being the undivided capital of Israel on Wednesday, then on Thursday "it's up to the parties to negotiate" its status, then it's Friday's clarification of Thursday's clarification involving no backtracking from Wednesday's clarification, etc.

Same deal with his fixer Tony Rezko, who just got convicted on 16 felonies, even with one felony tied behind his back. First, Obama hardly knew the chap, hazy memory at best. The chap crawls out from under one of those spots of amnesia, and suddenly Obama knew him very well, but "this isn't the Tony Rezko" he barely remembered knowing pretty well 20 years ago.

If Obama thinks this is any way to run in the general, it'll kill him to find out November's voting isn't by rinky-dinky caucuses crammed with latte Maoists but rather fifty big ol' secret ballot elections, where the poor sap routinely flops. Even worse, no Howard Dean bailing the arugulan loser out by magically invalidating his loses either.

But, don't worry, if Hillary keeps shrinking Obama with 'ready to endorse Obama from Day One' 'endorsements' while the 'will-she, can-she, won't-she be his veep?' hangs in the air, 'round election time, he'll be lucky to hold on to Illinois.

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